Good News: Love Isn't Dead, It's Just Overcomplicated

There are good butterflies and there are bad butterflies. And there's a good reason to know the difference between the two.

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If you’d asked me what falling love was supposed to feel like before the past six months, my answer would’ve been vastly different.


I probably would’ve said something yawningly predictable, like it feels “like you’re losing your mind,” or you feel “consumed and obsessive,” or something similar.


To me, before, falling in love was spending countless insecure hours in an emotional spiral, waiting for a text message to confirm that, in fact, the lover in question had not lost interest in me or the concept of “us” in the past 24 hours. It was “romantic gestures” like one or more of the following:


  1. Choosing to go home with me on a night out

  2. Texting me at all during daylight hours

  3. Buying my drinks or food or coffee or literally anything at all

  4. Saying that I look “pretty,” “nice,” or any positive-leaning adjective regardless of depth

  5. Ignoring me in public because they “like me too much”

  6. Kissing me without warning

  7. Telling my friends or their friends that they thought I was hot

  8. Wishing me a happy birthday

  9. Randomly texting me an emoji without context

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