People! And! Their! Pets!

Pets! They’ve been our companions for tens of thousands of years. Void of the typical baggage and messy complexities of human friendship, the companionship and love shared with a pet can in some ways be simple, unconditional. Mostly, they can’t leave. Unlike a partner, pets cannot find a hotter or smarter owner, they won’t cause problems by making snide comments about your lifestyle choices or your behavior at that party, they don’t care about the nuances of your political alignment, what your ethnicity is or who you worship. They need us, and they love us (mostly).

Owning a pet can be a way to find meaning outside of yourself, a way to get through hardship or just to have someone to come home to at the end of the day. They can also be annoying, needy and territorial. They’re expensive, and can’t hold down a job to give us a hand with the bills. Still, human beings continue to keep, adore and love their various pets, spanning all of Linneaus’s animal classings. So, I spoke to eight pet owners to delve into their relationships with their non-human counterparts.

Terra Layne, 30, and Pooja, 40 (almost 41) years old

Pooja, a green Amazon parrot, has been passed through the matrilineal line of Terra Layne’s family for generations. Her grandmother and mother found him on the coast of California in the 1980s, and since then, he’s been handed down from mother to daughter and finally to granddaughter. Layne said that Pooja, who is older than her by a decade, has the arrogance and assurance of a powerful middle aged man.

“I think he’s like Al Pacino. I feel like he’s got this mob boss presence. Like, parrots are extremely intelligent, highly manipulative,” Layne said. “You know how they say don’t bite the hand that feeds you? He still bites the hand that feeds him and gets his demands.”

Pooja can be territorial over her in front of her friends, and Layne told me that she was forced to bring in a parrot therapist, Glen, a man dubbed the Pied Piper of Parrots, to figure out how to establish proper bird-human friendship boundaries. Still, Layne said Pooja is her best friend, and the longest relationship she’s ever had. He can be kind, affectionate and warm, and will pick up when she’s feeling down or needs some companionship.

Elisa, 31, Lazzaro, 1, and Hubbell, approximately 1 years old

Elisa Coia informed me shortly before we met, that one of her pet rats, Lazzaro, named after the Italian filmmaker Alice Rohrwacher’s indie film ‘Happy as Lazzaro’, had died days earlier. When I arrived at her apartment, Hubbel, her other pet rat, was still alive, and peacefully minding his business in his cage. Coia said the news was devastating, and sudden: she had gone into her kitchen for 15 minutes and found that Lazzaro had passed away while she was in the other room.

“I really miss him. It’s funny, you don't realize what a presence a pet has, especially a tiny little animal like a rat. You know, you don't realize that they have their own unique personality,” Coia said. “And when that's gone, it's a big shift, like you really feel it. Yeah, I miss him.”

Coia said that rats have a negative connotation, despite them being wonderful pets, and that many of her friends were appalled when she got Hubbell a couple of years ago.

“'I’m definitely a kind of rat justice warrior. It's really upsetting to me that they have this stigma. They are lovely little creatures,” Coia said. “It’s so funny. Rats are still so taboo, especially in New York which I get, you know people are used to seeing them on the sidewalk and the subway, and it’s gross.”

Coia said rats compulsively clean themselves, and can be incredibly intelligent. She showed me how Hubbell could perform a little pirouette before being rewarded with a treat. According to Coia, rats are a little bit like dogs: affectionate, playful and mischievous. She said that Hubbell especially loves to hangout and play with her.

“Hubell is very cuddly with me,” Coia said. “He’s very much a mama’s boy, he’s more like a son than my friend.”

Coia said she values physical touch and having animals around, and got Hubbell and Lazzaro during a breakup when she needed some companionship. According to Coia, the two were a constant in her life, and she loved waking up in the morning and seeing them snuggled up together.

“It's nice to have another being in your life. I got them right after a breakup and a pet is kind of like a boyfriend in a way,” Coia said. “I think that initially it was kind of just fill a void, and they managed to fill that void a little bit. I sound so sad, like, ‘Yeah, um I'm dating my rat.’”

Alex Kilgore, 26, and June, 3 years old

Alex Kilgore said he got June, a roughly 100 pound black Great Dane, because he wanted a big ass dog. He had been searching for a Great Dane for about a year and a half when June popped up in a shelter in Colorado, where he was living at the time. Since then, they’ve been inseparable.

“This is like my other half,” Kilgore said, waving at June. “She’s probably the sweetest dog I’ve ever met. She wants to say hi to every dog, which you know, is good and bad, and she’ll say hi to everyone. But people walking around are not usually ready for her.”

On the topic of “Scary Dog Privilege” Kilgore said June is too friendly to be too much of a guard dog, though someone did pull a knife on him once because they got freaked out by her. Nothing came from the incident, but he said she usually attracts more attention than she averts it.

“I think that she’s a spectacle. Everyone’s kind of always staring. So like, is it safer? Or am I attracting too much attention having this big beautiful girl,” Kilgore said.

More than anything, Kilgore said taking care of June gave him a sense of responsibility outside of himself, and he enjoys having a companion.

“I think that I got June and it sort of gave me a sense of purpose. It gave me reason to stop caring about myself all the time,” Kilgore said. “She is like the best friend I’ve ever had, and I know that she just wants food from me, but she can also tell if I’m sad and will crawl up into a little ball and sleep next to me. It’s very sweet.”

Cameron, 24, and Stassie, 3 years old

Cameron Forbes and her Persian-Scottish Fold cat Stassie look a little bit alike — the two both have huge blue eyes, and a charming doll-like quality. Forbes got Stassie during the pandemic in a barn in rural North Carolina, close to where she went to university, for $50, despite her being a rare mix of two distinguished purebreds.

“We pull up to this farmhouse and it was kind of like, ‘Is this going to be like a Hills Have Eyes situation?’” Forbes said. “They just had a Persian cat and a Scottish fold and they accidentally got knocked up.”

Stassie is unusually easy-going and friendly for a cat, beloved by all and sickeningly adorable, almost like a breathing stuffed animal. Forbes joked that Stassie was her own personal Webkinz, and is more than often, the perfect cat. Still, during the summer, Forbes had a close call with Stassie when the Persian cat crawled into an air vent in her family’s home and was gone for four days. Forbes said it was a real True Crime moment — she was hysterical, filed a police report, contacted a detective, searched her entire house, canvassed the neighborhood, and put up more than a hundred “Missing Cat” flyers with a $1,000 reward. Forbes showed me the flyers on her phone, alongside several pictures of her tear-stained face, to illustrate the mood.

“[When she was lost] I was envisioning the next three months, six months of my life without her, and it would just be so much more lonely,” Forbes said. “I don't know what I would have done. I actually was considering getting an entirely black capsule wardrobe and just being in mourning for six months. Like ‘Death becomes her.’ It was like the only option.”

According to Forbes, Stassie is her best buddy, and she doesn’t know what she would do without her. She said Stassie has been there for some of the most important moments of her life.

“My favorite thing is knowing that Stassie has been there for my college graduation, she'll probably be there when I move in with my boyfriend, when I get married, and when I have my first child. She’s been with me through so many phases of my life,” Forbes said. “During the pandemic, I had a bad breakup, my dad had been diagnosed with cancer and throughout all of that she's been the constant. It was so scary, at that moment, thinking of losing her.”

Niccolò, 29, and George, 5 years old

Niccolò Debole said his German Shepherd, George, is a cool dude. Debole got George off of a Facebook market group for German Shepherds because he was unwanted, without the signature blue eyes and speckled white fur that most owners of the breed desperately covet.

“He’s very good. I mean, can you believe no one wanted him?” Debole said. “He’s super cute.”

According to Debole, George is more like a cat than a dog. He likes to be in physical proximity to Debole and his girlfriend, and will get some separation anxiety, but is not interested in cuddling or providing emotional support.

“You know, some animals, or dogs especially, are so good at understanding emotions. He is not. You'll be bummed out, and he does not give a shit. He doesn't give a shit about your emotions,” Debole said. “He’s just like, ‘You need to figure your stuff out, I’m going to be here.’ He'll see you crying or sad or something and he will not walk up to you. He will probably sit in the corner of the room, just looking at you, concerned maybe, but he’s not in-tune with his emotions.”

While George ran circles around the legs of Debole, Debole’s girlfriend and myself, Debole explained that George was like a roommate, a really fun guy to keep around your apartment. Originally from Ohio, George adapted to the Williamsburg/Bushwick lifestyle with ease. According to Debole, George, dubbed Mr. George by the Deli guys on his block who give him slices of turkey as a treat, has the type of personality that no one can be upset around. Mostly, the two like to chill together.

“He’s kind of just like a cool dude, Debole said. “He’s so funny, he’s a funny dog. He loves to hangout, and likes to keep me in this field of vision. If I'm hanging out in my living room, he’s always there. And my bedroom, he’s always there. I have a little hole cut out on the bottom of my doorway that he can slide in and out of.”

Lindsey Boivin, 24, Darwin, 4, and Chloe, around 5 years old (according to the vet)

Lindsey Boivin apartment is a monochromatic haven of stillness and calm. Her living space is mostly contained to varying shades of black and white, and her pets fit the color scheme. She and her two bunnies, Darwin and Chloe, have lived there for a year after she moved from Michigan to New York. Boivin said she originally rescued Chloe from a home where she was being neglected and abused, and felt that she had to step in.

“We all have our little eccentricities, or like mental illnesses you could say, " Boivin said. “I have a pretty bad OCD, and I like a very peaceful environment. Chloe actually has severe aggression which is pretty common for abused bunnies. And Darwin has really bad anxiety, so we all just try to cultivate a very peaceful space here.”

A lot of times, Boivin said the pair don’t make much noise, and mostly just stick to themselves, though Chloe will sometimes let herself be hugged and cuddled. She said she has never heard Darwin make a sound, and suggested that we whisper in order to get the two bunnies out of hiding from their favorite spot under her couch. According to Boivin, living with rabbits means coming to terms with their boundaries, which are substantial, since bunnies are prey animals and can be shy and skittish.

“In a way I kind of relate it to men disrespecting boundaries,” Boivin said. “I wouldn't want a guy pawing, so in a way I don't want to be that guy to my bunnies, which is kind of a weird metaphor, but I was like ‘I don't I don't want to be the one that makes them feel uncomfortable and violent.’”

Boivin said that having pet bunnies around grants her a sense of tranquility and wholesomeness that she would miss if they weren’t around.

“It’s just so peaceful to have them in my life. It’s hard to be stressed when you have two little cute bunnies running around. Yeah, they just bring me so much peace,” BLANK said. “I can get really worked up a lot, just with anxiety, with work stuff or just anything and Chloe has been very instrumental into helping me relax because she absolutely loves getting pet and she will just lay there and get pet for hours.”

Mike, 51, Steve, 59 and Finch, 8 years old

Mike Stillman and Steve Williams said their teacup pomeranian, Finch, was the runt of the litter, more like a baby chicken than a dog when they first met him. They got Finch after their previous dogs, two Chihuahuas, died within six months of each other, both 13. The two said they had originally wanted another dog before Finch, but fell in love with him when they saw him for the first time.

“They brought Finch out who was slightly smaller, a little cross eyed, and just looked like a baby chicken with feathers,” Williams said.

“Like he had stuck his paw in an electrical circuit,” Stillman said.

According to the pair, Finch goes everywhere with them. The two, both physicians, move around a lot for work, and Finch has lived with them in various cities across the country. In Seattle, Williams said that Finch could barely survive the weather, and had to be carried around for a while.

“He travels with us. He goes everywhere,” Williams said. “When we got him in Seattle it was winter, and he was so tiny. He couldn't really walk in the rain because he would drown, so we carried him everywhere we went.

Sometimes Finch will cause emotional reactions amongst people they meet. Stillman and Wiliams said that there have been two separate incidents where a person will hold him, hug him, and start crying. According to Stillman, Finch is incredibly open-hearted, and is eager to meet everyone he meets. Oftentimes, Stillman said that people will fawn over Finch, and the pomeranian will gladly accept the attention from all kinds of people.

“What I love about him is that he's very open hearted. When we take him to the farmers market or to restaurants, or you know, to the train station when we come up here, people are always eager to meet him because he's so cute,” Stillman said. “You can tell that they want to hold him and we'll just pass him off, and he's not terrified by that. He loves meeting people, he kind of meets people where they are. He's non judgmental. He's a very loving little creature.”

Lauren, 25, Frank, 4 years old

Frank, previously dubbed “Hennessy '' by a former owner, is Lauren Mehling’s bearded dragon. Frank can change colors depending on his mood, and the warmth of his surroundings. When I was introduced to him, he was a dull gray brown, not a good sign, but turned a happy bright yellow after being allowed back in his cage for some artificial sunlight. After Frank’s light bath, the pair were matching, with shifting shades of orange and yellow on either scales, hair or clothing. Unlike other bearded dragons, Mehling said Frank loves physical touch, never bites, and is incredibly sweet.

“He doesn't do any of the typical bearded dragon stuff. He's really sweet. And he likes almost every single person, really,” Mehling said.

Mehling said Frank is cheeky, borderline impudent, and loves to listen to music, especially opera. When she first got him, Mehling trained him to be more friendly by cuddling with him and playing him some classical arias. Frank had to get accustomed to living with Mehling, but she said he learned fast.

“I just started to just show him that he doesn't have to be afraid,” Mehling said. “He got really snuggly really fast. And I found out he loves listening to music. And he loves opera music, he loves listening to opera. So I started just slowly taking him out every day and snuggling him. And then eventually, he just crawled right up to me and just fell asleep, just hugging my neck.”

Frank is potty trained, though there was an accident on the floor when I was over at Mehling’s apartment which can be tricky because bearded dragon poop can carry salmonella. He loves to eat crickets and mango, and will dutifully wear any of the costumes, designed especially for reptiles, that Mehling pulled out from a box full of miniature outfits. Mehling said she adores Frank, as does everyone in her life, including her parents, her boyfriend, and various people around the neighborhood she lives in. Without him, Mehling said she would get lonely.

“I'd be so sad. I'd be so lonely. I mean, I would probably get a cat,” Mehlind said. “But I like Frank because even though he's so small he packs so much sass.”