Artist and musician Yaeji, in her own words. For the second cover of Music To Our Ears, Yaeji reflects on the creation of her debut album, the evolution of anger, and freedom. Print pre-orders avaliable now.

ONE YEAR

time is something that's always on my mind. the weight of time has been so emotional for most of my life. as i grow older, time starts to feel shorter (as we all feel) so a year feels so much shorter to me now than what it would have say in my teens. With A Hammer was my first album, and i've waited this long to release one maybe,, because it took me this long to be honest and in touch with my younger self. when i set off to write this album, i began the process by writing a story before the music. a story of a Hammer that was birthed out of ~30 years of suppressed anger.

it was the beginning to an open book convo between me and younger me(who voluntarily suppressed everything and eagerly wanted to grow up) & by the time the music started coming (as it often feels like it arrives to me sometimes rather than me producing it), i realized that i should surrender to the fact that this album may be birthed as an incomplete thought. that i may not be able to fully understand my Hammer friend in the time it takes to write an album. i wouldn’t have a conclusion to package and present to the world as "this is what my anger looks like".

anger--as well as any other emotions, experiences, and relationships--is constantly transmuting into something new. now that its been a year since the album came out into the world, since i started touring with it, seeing and feeling how others connect or relate to it,, i feel a little closer to understanding how my anger has transmuted.. maybe,, hehe

RECEPTION

this isn’t easy, but i try not to think too much about how i am perceived by others. it's the same the other way around too--i try not to judge others. the more i judge, the more i perceive myself to be judged too. its a cyclical journey that lacks love. a place that lacks love lacks creativity.

that being said, my project Yaeji has become something more than myself. its a growing team of people that i respect and care about. you could also call it a small business. this means that i cannot and will not completely detach myself from capitalism, societal expectations, stats, and reception.

running a business, while wanting to make music thats true to me, while making sure i take care of people that i want to support, is at times overwhelming. but it's also a blessing that we can create our own little safe space, apart from how society or the industry expects us to be.

when i think of my listeners, i now see them as my peers. at first there was fear of not knowing what my listeners look like. i feared losing my privacy. i feared missing authentic connection. but something shifted in me as i started loving myself more and letting myself be. i now see my onions as peers because i realized thru meeting so many of them that we have so much in common. we are mirrors of each other. and thats why they resonated with my songs and my thoughts!

it's an adorable blossoming community. its parallel encouragement , appreciation , and acknowledgment.

HIGHER AND HIGHER

now that my first album (that was extremely personal) is out i feel liberated to do anything i feel like doing. i've gotten the heavy thing that i've been wanting to share with myself and with the world off my chest! (for now)

these days i've been working on a lot of music collaboratively with musicians i love and respect. i'm experimenting with sounds and am letting myself be messy, unplanned, spontaneous. (tho,, ive sorta always been writing that way anyways )

as a creator apart from music, i have an endless list of hobbies and to-dos so i want to explore that too. currently my obsession has been with fibers--knitting, crocheting, spinning my own yarn, sewing. i want to get back into oil painting. and digital illustrations... & making more JI-MART things. not sure what to expect though as my interests are ever-changing

NEW IDEAS

i shared with a close musician friend once that "maybe our job is to think". i've always been a heavy thinker (maybe bc i had no friends? or i was born this way? is it cultural? i constantly think about "what ifs" or imagine something’s future, how something came to be,, etc ) … so it's a blessing that i ended up becoming a full-time artist.

what have i been thinking these days.. well, a part of me has been at peace with myself. With A Hammer allowed me to accept many of the different selves that have been buried deep inside me and rejected all these years. that's allowed me to learn how to actually love myself. and in turn that's given me the strength to love others more.

on the other hand, i'm thinking about the discrepancy between this smart phone era, globalization, overflow of information, AI generation vs. apartheid, individualism, misinformation, capitalism and apathy.. i'm aware of the systems we live in, the stakes and limitations of expression, the games we have to play to inch towards something we believe in, protecting what we love,, being true to ourselves,, normalization and numbness,, doom scrolling and fake news,, being fed. feeding. what to do. how to say. crying. hugging. laughing. crying.

i've been thinking a lot about how to break away from addictions that lead to numbness. i often need to disassociate, but i want to challenge myself. do i need to be doom scrolling right now? do i need to be watching something right now? do i need to have noise cancelling right now? do i need to read all these reviews before going somewhere, or to engage with something?

i now see the value of being bored and being lost. keeping our hearts and our minds open is key to understanding each other better

FREEDOM

it's hard to find the words to talk about freedom. language is limiting, but music helps bridge the gap a little.

we're born, without our control, into a place with many rules. a place that already has so much history. a landscape that has been altered and tainted over and over by ourselves and our ancestors. oppression and apartheid is still present, despite the fact that we claim we've learned our mistakes from history.

what does freedom mean? can freedom even exist in such a world?

this will probably be a lifelong prompt. but what i've learned so far, from my short time in this existence, is that there is no life without suffering. there is no liberation without liberation for all. even if we fear death, death will come. even if we ignore discrimination, oppression still exists. even if we believe in love, love may hurt us.

suffering is something we are born into and must carry our whole lives. but perhaps once we realize that we can start to heal. we will feel for each other & care for each other as human beings. we will dream of collective liberation.

Hair: Chika F.K

Makeup: Amrita Mehta